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Is it possible to get along with everyone?
Why is it important to get along with others?
Why do I have a hard time getting along with others?
How can I make friends more easily and get along better with others?
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Jump to section
Is it possible to get along with everyone?
Why is it important to get along with others?
Why do I have a hard time getting along with others?
How can I make friends more easily and get along better with others?
Stay up to date with new resources and insights.
Thank you for your interest in BetterUp.
Humans are social animals. This observation was first made by Aristotle more than 2000 years ago but continues to be a central truth about our existence. Cooperation with each other is at the heart of our lives and our societies.
At a fundamental level, we rely on each other for basic survival. For example, we rely on farmers to produce our food, and doctors to protect our health. But beyond survival, our reliance on each other helps us thrive. Social connection is a basic human need.
Having strong bonds with other people has a number of positive effects. It bolsters both our physical and emotional health, provides us with comfort in challenging times, and enriches our lives. When we can get along well with others, we are more comfortable and committed; we feel like we belong.
Building strong relationships seems to come naturally to some people, but can be more difficult for others, especially making friends as an adult. But interpersonal skills can be learned, and consciously working to improve them can have tremendous benefits on your well-being. If you’d like to improve your skills in this area, here are some questions you might explore.
The short answer is mostly yes. Certain relationships can just be more inherently challenging than others. Perhaps you have different communication styles, have had conflict in the past, or just don’t see eye-to-eye. Perhaps you feel you have a fundamental difference in values. Any of these factors can make it more difficult to get along.
More difficult, but not impossible.
There may be times when you don’t get along with someone and have the flexibility to choose not to spend time with them. But there are also times we have to find ways to get along with family members, coworkers, neighbors, and other acquaintances because they are going to remain in our lives. In most cases, it is possible to improve these relationships and make them more positive.
Doing so will make your life easier. It might also reveal hidden value: a unique perspective, insight into sources of resistance, greater self-awareness and growth, and possibly a rewarding relationship.
The answer to this question lies in our understanding of how important relationships with others are to each of us. Because we are social animals, a significant part of our lives is based on interactions with others. This is true whether we are in school together, work on the same team, or simply live in the same neighborhood. Our ability to get along with others can help us succeed both personally and professionally.
There are individual differences in the number and types of relationships we seek out for our lives. Some prefer to surround ourselves with fewer people with whom we have deeper connections, while others seek to build a broad network of friends and acquaintances. Either way, it’s still important that we build these relationships and get along with others.
In our professional lives, having one or more friends at work has been shown to have tremendous benefits, to you and to your company. For instance, women with a best friend at work are more likely to have a positive experience during the day, including enjoying what they do and being recognized for success. They are more engaged at work, so they are willing to go above and beyond in their roles, and may take greater risks that lead to innovation. Not to mention, when you spend more of your waking hours at work than you do at home, it’s nice to have a strong connection with someone who understands you personally and professionally.
The answer to this question can vary for each relationship, or each person. For example, you may not get along with a family member who has a different sense of humor from your own. You may feel resentment against a colleague who passed off one of your ideas as their own. Or you may have a hard time getting along with other parents at your child’s school because you have a different parenting philosophy.
Getting along with others in these cases can feel like compromising yourself. It can help to remember why you need to get along with them in the first place. Maybe you need to get along to make it through Thanksgiving dinner without upsetting your grandmother. Maybe you need to work with a colleague to meet a client deadline. Maybe you need the participation of other parents to create a rich learning community for your children.
You don’t have to accept or even approve of all of the other person’s attitudes or behaviors. But sometimes we lose focus of what we have in common and forget the why of getting along in favor of all the why nots.
Look at each strained relationship individually to get to the root of why you might be having a hard time getting along with others.
Understanding why you have a difficult time getting along with others can help you learn more about how to improve your relationships. At the same time, after considering the roots of the strain, be realistic. Not every relationship will be a friend—more positive and productive is the goal.
All relationships require work, though it may not always feel like work. That could mean a date night with your spouse, calling a friend, or getting together with your family for the holidays. Professional relationships require work too, whether that means inviting a new colleague to lunch or chatting about your personal lives with colleagues before a meeting.
Here are some tips to improve your relationships and get along better with others in both your personal and your professional lives:
Stay up to date with new resources and insights.
Thank you for your interest in BetterUp.
We know that our relationships with others are important, but that doesn’t always make them easy to build or maintain. Exploring ways to get along with others can help facilitate these relationships and make them healthier and more positive. Making friends and getting along with others enriches our lives and enables us to thrive.
Improve your social skills, confidence, and build meaningful relationships through personalized coaching.
Improve your social skills, confidence, and build meaningful relationships through personalized coaching.
Bethany Klynn, PhD is a BetterUp Fellow Coach and PhD in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. She has more than 20 years of experience in leadership development, coaching, team development, and shaping organizational cultures. Bethany has a passion for helping leaders become successful in finding those "aha moments." She loves helping individuals grow and discover how to best contribute, learn new skills, and achieve even better results.
Bethany brings together the science of what happens at work and her 20 years of in-the-trenches executive experience of leading her own teams, coaching and developing leaders, and shaping organizational cultures. She's a voracious reader and loves swapping book recommendations — share some suggestions and she'll happily share some too!
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