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7-38-55 rule of communication: How to use for negotiation

May 15, 2023 - 16 min read

Woman-laughing-looking-at-collegue-talking-7-38-55-rule

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What’s the 7-38-55 rule?

The importance of body language in communication and negotiation

Using the 7-38-55 rule to negotiate better

Limitations of the 7-38-55 rule

More tips for better communication

Don’t just talk about it

You spend weeks perfecting your presentation for a new client. You fill your PowerPoint with animated graphs, memorize your entire speech, and even write a few puns. A few days after your presentation, you get the news: the client’s passing up on the offer because your pitch didn't sell them.

When asked for feedback, you find out your nonverbal cues derailed the message you confidently put together. You slouched and stood still, spoke in a monotone voice, and stared into space rather than making eye contact

According to the 7-38-55 rule, the content of your words is only as powerful as your delivery. Posture, vocal tone, and hand gestures significantly impact how people perceive you. Learn to use these nonverbal signals to express yourself with intention, positively influence people, and always leave a good impression.

What’s the 7-38-55 rule?

The 7-38-55 rule is a communication theory UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian developed in his 1971 book, Silent Messages. Mehrabian based his theory on two pioneering studies he conducted in 1967: “Decoding of Inconsistent Communications” and “Inference of Attitudes.”

These studies analyzed the importance of body language when communicating emotions and how body language contributes to how likable someone is. 

Mehrabian argued that nonverbal communication is inseparable from our feelings and emotions and that humans unconsciously reveal these things through several types of nonverbal communication, like facial expressions, eye contact, and vocal tone. 

According to Mehrabian’s communication model, the impact of verbal versus nonverbal communication on your total liking of another person breaks down into three factors:

Mehrabian’s findings show that, regarding your likeability and how your listener receives your message, people care more about how you say something than what you say. Knowing this, you can improve your body language and tone of voice to influence how others perceive you. 

The importance of body language in communication and negotiation

Throughout your professional life, knowing how to negotiate plays a decisive role in your career growth. While it plays a more obvious role regarding asking for a raise, bargaining a voluntary layoff, or making a deal on a new business venture, you also negotiate daily when you persuade your team to adopt a new strategy, set boundaries with managers and coworkers, or deal with difficult employees.

Every day, your nonverbal signals make or break whether people believe — and follow — what you say. A wide stance shows confidence, crossed arms reflect inferiority, and a varied versus monotone voice expresses charisma. No matter how convincing and calculated the spiel is, your message might become lost if there’s incongruence with your nonverbal cues. And this could cost you a raise or create misunderstandings between yourself and coworkers.

Using the 7-38-55 rule to negotiate better

When you develop greater self-awareness of your nonverbal communication skills and learn to read between the lines of the words of others, you set yourself up for more effective communication. Here are seven ways you can prioritize body language and vocal tone to get your message across.

1. Use positive reinforcement

Smiles, eye contact, and nods show you’re actively listening and engaged. Give all your focus to the other person and pay close attention to their body language. Showing this receptiveness to your partner will make you more likable and build trust

Woman-smiling-while-looking-at-coworker-talking-7-38-55-rule

2. Pay attention to deceit

According to the 7-38-55 theory, when the emotion conveyed by someone’s words doesn’t match up with their nonverbal cues, they might be withholding information or trying to mislead you, so attend to these cues to improve your negotiation skills. 

3. Start off strong

When meeting a new person, it’s all about first impressions, so avoid acting standoffish or distracting yourself with your cell phone. Instead, make eye contact, smile warmly, and introduce yourself politely to start off on the right foot. 

4. Use your voice

When delivering pitches or presentations, project your voice, inflect your words, and pace your speech to ensure listeners catch what you’re saying and retain the message while remaining entertained. 

5. Always meet face-to-face

Avoid written communication for important messages when possible, as these methods invite misinterpretations that could unintentionally convolute your message. 

6. Pick the right environment

Crowded rooms, loud acoustics, and hot lights can lead to overwhelming sensory overload that affects concentration. If you’re negotiating a deal, avoid public spaces like busy coffee shops or restaurants. This’ll help you and your listener focus on the matter at hand.

New-hire-smiling-and-shaking-hands-of-manager-at-office-7-38-55-rule

7. Request feedback

You’re likely unaware of conversation patterns you naturally slip into, like vocal tone, gestures, or facial expressions, so ask coworkers, friends, and family members for constructive feedback to identify improvement areas. Then, try practicing any changes in low-risk situations to incorporate them into your negotiating tactics without feeling too much pressure.

Limitations of the 7-38-55 rule

Despite Mehrabian’s objections, the 7-38-55 rule has become a shorthand for the importance of all nonverbal communication. But Mehrabian only intended to explore how nonverbal messages can complement or detract from verbal communication, and the rule has some limitations worth addressing:

  • Gender bias: Mehrabian’s sample size consisted exclusively of female participants, so it’s unclear how an all-male or mixed group would’ve responded. 

  • Data shortcomings: Mehrabian restricted the type of body language considered, omitting body posture and gestures. 

  • Unrealistic setting: When considering vocal tone, respondents judged whether they liked or disliked an unseen female speaker based on her delivery of nine unconnected words.

Likewise, Mehrabian and other researchers argue that the 7-38-55 rule only comes into play when:

  1. Communication is in-person
  2. There’s a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal communication cues
  3. You’re interpreting a speaker who’s expressing their feelings or attitude

Here’s an ideal situation for the 7-38-55 rule: you’ve asked for feedback during an in-person one-on-one with your manager. They’re telling you you’re doing well but are frowning and seem uncomfortable, moving around in their chair, crossing their arms, and shuffling their feet.

Angry-looking-man-talking-to-woman-outdoors-7-38-55-rule

According to the rule, you’ll put more emphasis on their body language than their words, concluding that you’re not doing as well as they say.

While the 7-38-55 rule might not apply to every situation, it’s a great reminder that how you express yourself non-verbally matters — people pay attention to your smile or frown, crossed arms, or welcoming stance. You can use this information to improve your body language and vocal tone to express yourself more authentically

More tips for better communication

Mehrabian’s research did more than break down the percentages of different verbal and nonverbal communications. “Silent Messages and subsequent studies contributed to a valuable conversation regarding improving communication. 

To continue that conversation, here are four tips for streamlining workplace communication. 

1. Curate the environment

According to “Silent Messages,” immediacy (physical closeness between two people) and positive relationships are correlated. The more you enjoy someone’s company, the closer you position yourself to them.

And more physical closeness leads to a more positive relationship. A Cornell study bolsters this hypothesis, finding that firefighters who eat together perform better

To create this closeness at work, try positioning yourself across from your conversation partner at a comfortable distance that’s not too far away. This encourages eye contact and interaction since you’re facing one another. As a manager, you can cultivate this closeness by organizing group brainstorming sessions, coworking times, and informal meetups for hybrid or virtual teams.

2. Never underestimate the power of a first impression

It takes less than a second for people to create a first impression. And people’s proclivity to anchoring biases (making decisions based on the first piece of information you receive) means how you present yourself matters. 

Whether negotiating a business merger, trying to attract a new client, or convincing a customer to buy a product, their first impression of you plays a pivotal role in your message’s success.

Pay close attention to your body language, using positive reinforcements like nodding, smiling, and opening your arms to ensure the listener creates a positive first impression of you.

Man-laughing-at-office-7-38-55-rule

3. Pay attention to your look

How you dress influences how you feel about yourself, like feeling more confident or well-prepared. And it also impacts how others perceive you. 

If you’re heading into an important meeting or negotiation, boost your confidence and increase the chance listeners receive your message well by dressing the part. What that means depends on your workplace, be it business casual or a three-piece suit. When in doubt, ask your manager what’s appropriate.

4. Carefully craft non-visual messaging

Mehrabian’s theory demonstrates that when you lack visual cues, you pay extra careful attention to words. So consider developing your writing skills, maybe via an online course or by asking a proficient coworker for advice, to ensure your written communications use clarity, concision, and intention to effectively express your message.

Don’t just talk about it

The 7-38-55 rule emphasizes that actions speak louder than words. Now that you know how crucial your body language and vocal tone are to your listener, you can reflect on your habits to ensure you express yourself correctly.

Doing so improves every area of your life as you show up more authentically and reduce misunderstandings between you and your coworkers, family, and friends. And you might even be able to nab a second pitch and persuade that resistant client.

Elevate your communication skills

Unlock the power of clear and persuasive communication. Our coaches can guide you to build strong relationships and succeed in both personal and professional life.

Elevate your communication skills

Unlock the power of clear and persuasive communication. Our coaches can guide you to build strong relationships and succeed in both personal and professional life.

Published May 15, 2023

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships.

With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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