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Demystifying the "purpose" quest
Step-by-step: How to answer "what is my purpose?"
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Demystifying the "purpose" quest
Step-by-step: How to answer "what is my purpose?"
If you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, bored, or like something is “just missing” from your daily life, it may be worth considering the question “What is my purpose?”
No one wants to feel like the time and effort they’re pouring into their work and free time aren’t helping them grow. But, within the busy lives we often create for ourselves, it’s easy to fall victim to monotonous routines for the comfort and sense of control they provide.
Identifying your true purpose (or purposes) can help spark energy, passion, and excitement for the future that you may have never felt before or have only experienced in passing.
In this article, you’ll learn how to discover if you’re lacking purpose in life, get a step-by-step guide on how to find your purpose, and leave with practical tools to pinpoint and start journeying toward your life’s purpose.
“Finding your purpose” is a phrase often thrown out in different contexts, including life coaching sessions, career brainstorms, and mental health settings like therapy. This can muddy the waters for what it actually means to find your purpose and which areas of life you should consider.
Before you dive into finding your purpose, let’s break down the concept of having a purpose and why it’s important.
A life purpose is an overall vision for your life based on the things that are most meaningful to you. It’s often a central goal or set of goals that include the following:
You can think of the purpose of life as your “why” or the reason you get out of bed each morning. It’s the motivating factor behind many things you do that shape your goals and make you feel like you’re on this planet for a reason.
Aside from providing a sense of direction, focus, and self-worth, finding your life’s purpose comes with a range of benefits, including:
Recent research shows a strong sense of purpose leads to positive social well-being and lower levels of loneliness. A purposeful life can also reduce impulsive behaviors and lead to a longer life.
To offer a better sense of what it means to find your life purpose, here are a few life purpose examples to inform and inspire your journey:
It’s important to remember that your purpose statement doesn’t have to be grandiose, like solving world hunger. Purpose comes in all forms, as everyone derives meaning from different sources.
Answering the question “What is my life purpose?” may seem like it should be straightforward, but doing so is often anything but simple. Finding your purpose is a journey with ups and downs.
At times, you may feel on top of the world, proud of all you’re doing and the difference you’re making where it matters most. But in other seasons, you might languish and need to regain your sense of purpose.
All these emotions are normal, so give yourself some grace if you feel you are lacking right now. You can always get back on track.
Speaking of lacking purpose — how do you know if you’re struggling to find your purpose? One tell-tale sign is experiencing purpose anxiety, which is a nervousness about being able to find your purpose.
It can be easy to put a lot of pressure on yourself to find the best-fitting purpose and dedicate your life to it. But you may have more than one purpose that changes throughout your life's chapters.
If you feel frustrated about your life purpose not feeling obvious, remember you have an entire lifetime to find your passions. Don’t let purpose anxiety keep you from putting in the work for self-improvement.
Here are some other signs that you might be lacking a sense of purpose:
If you feel discouraged about finding your purpose, there are some mental exercises and steps you can take to come closer to your true calling. Try thinking through these steps and writing down your initial thoughts as you go.
You can’t answer the question “What is my purpose in life?” without answering, “What do I value?” Your core values are the beliefs that guide the way you live and what you prioritize.
Examples of personal values include the following:
To uncover your personal values, answer the following questions:
Take the time to self-reflect on specific moments and the emotions you felt to help you discover patterns in the things you care about.
Once you have a solid list of core values, brainstorm meaningful life goals that align with them.
For example, if you value generosity, set goals to volunteer time, money, or resources to a cause. If you value sustainability, for example, make it a goal to begin composting at home. Once you achieve that, you can set a goal to use the compost in an herb and vegetable garden and complete the cycle.
If some of your goals feel unattainable, what’s holding you back? What do you fear might happen?
It’s not uncommon for there to be logistical or emotional barriers to investing 100% into your goals and values. You might fear failure, rejection, or not being good enough at something to go after it.
Make a list of any fears that come to mind, and be your own devil’s advocate. Are your fears logical? Are there any ways you can work around them? If you’re struggling to overcome your fears, ask a trusted friend for their input on breaking down these walls.
Your passions and interests can indicate the area(s) in which your life purpose might lie, but they can be hard to identify. They can be so ingrained in your way of thinking that you become blind to them.
If you’re unsure what your passions are, ask the people who know you best. You may already be pursuing them without realizing it. Perhaps you’re an unofficial mentor to young people in your community. If so, being a coach or mentor could be your passion.
Another way to find your passion is to think about what you’re good at. If you’re great at helping others handle relationship issues or problems with their boss, consider a career as a personal coach. You could even create purpose in your work by pursuing coaching classes or certificates. Or, you might prefer to keep your passion as a hobby or turn it into a side hustle instead of a full-time source of income.
Determining your life’s purpose may feel daunting, and setting goals that are too big can quickly become overwhelming. It might deter you from taking any steps at all.
If you’re interested in changing careers to better align with your purpose, don’t immediately jump ship and apply for other roles. Start with a goal of researching the industry and position, asking questions like these:
Begin with a discovery process that feels more attainable but is still driving you toward your mission.
Purpose often involves connecting with others who share similar interests, so being an active community member can contribute to a greater sense of purpose in life.
When you find your purpose, you’ll discover that many others share your passions and values. Joining or creating a community allows you to find that sense of connection with others as you work together toward a common goal. It can also be a great way to hold yourself accountable.
Practicing self-acceptance can help you be kinder to yourself when things go wrong. We all make mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up for your failures, try to see each setback as an opportunity to grow.
Practice self-compassion to help you develop self-awareness. When you accept all of yourself, you’re more likely to give the best of yourself in every situation. This might be at work, with your family, or while doing the things you love.
Personal goals and values can change over time, and that’s OK. Your life’s purpose doesn’t need to remain stagnant. Stay curious about the world around you, and watch out for situations that may uncover emotions you weren’t expecting.
This concept of continued curiosity can be especially important when finding your purpose after college. This is a time to explore new career paths and try new things with a growth mindset. You never know what unexpected passions you may stumble upon.
Some of the above steps may feel vague to you. If that’s the case, explore using various tools for a more defined head start.
Personality tests are great for helping you find your core values and identifying your true self. Many personality assessments also provide results that share the following:
Here’s a list of free personality assessments you can take right now.
Sometimes, you need an outside perspective and sounding board to find your purpose. Consider signing up for purpose coaching if you’re having trouble finding it alone.
A purpose coach can help you visualize your ideal life, identify your passions, and create a roadmap to get you there. Answering a set of questions can help you match with a purpose coach who fits your needs.
Finding your purpose requires awareness, which you can elicit from cognitive exercises like mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness can lead to a positive change in attitude, improve mental fitness, and create greater resiliency for stress and depression.
Additionally, meditation can make you more self-aware, keep you centered, and help you think more creatively.
“What is my purpose?” is a big question that requires deep self-reflection to answer meaningfully. If you need brainstorming and goal-setting support, consider working with a 1:1 expert coach who helps people like you answer this question daily.
Learn how you can benefit from a personal coach, or find your coach now.
Explore personalized coaching to discover and engage with your life’s purpose more deeply.
Explore personalized coaching to discover and engage with your life’s purpose more deeply.
Maggie Wooll is a researcher, author, and speaker focused on the evolving future of work. Formerly the lead researcher at the Deloitte Center for the Edge, she holds a Bachelor of Science in Education from Princeton University and an MBA from the University of Virginia Darden School of Business. Maggie is passionate about creating better work and greater opportunities for all.
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