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What to do in retirement: finding purpose and fulfillment

March 19, 2024 - 26 min read

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The importance of mental fitness in retirement

What are the 5 stages of retirement?

What to do in retirement: 6 ways to achieve fulfillment after work

Retirement ennui: preventing listlessness during retirement

How a coach can help you thrive in retirement

Navigating retirement can feel like standing at the edge of an uncharted map. It’s a time full of potential but also uncertainty. You’re not alone in wondering what to do in retirement.

What will you fill your days with? More importantly, how will these new activities bring the same fulfillment and joy you found in your career?

This identity confusion is why newly retired people seek support. The support helps them flourish and maintain an optimistic perspective throughout this new phase of life. 

Understanding your needs in retirement and learning how to use the resources available will help you lead a fulfilling post-career life. Now that you’ve left or are leaving the workforce, it’s time to figure out how to keep your mind and body ready for the adventures ahead.

Why retirement isn't always so peachy

Many folks count down the days to retirement because they expect it to be a time of endless leisure and a way to end the emotional turmoil that comes with spending most of your life working. However, the reality can be jarring.  

Just as a thrown stick on your cycling path forces you to swerve and navigate a bumpier ride, retirement brings unexpected obstacles. Maybe you’ve been experiencing the emotional signs it’s time to retire for a while. But you could face challenges if you don’t properly prepare for what you’ll do during retirement. Here are the top five challenges new retirees often encounter. You can use this information to navigate this new path confidently.

1. Financial insecurity

Many retirees fear outliving their savings or being blindsided with unexpected expenses. This anxiety over financial security can be a huge stressor. This fear can be especially relevant if retirement planning was low on your to-do list. 

You’re not alone. A survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) revealed that as of March 2022, 72% of Americans reported feeling stressed about money at least some of the time in the past month. Discussing financial planning with your partner can help alleviate some of that stress and give you perspective about your finances. 

2. Loss of social connections

Along with financial anxiety, retirement can often bring about feelings of losing your social compass. You might be wondering how to connect with people when you’re not around the same people every day.

Without networking lunches, casual watercooler conversations, or knowing glances exchanged during company-wide meetings, it’s easy to feel disconnected. The loss of camaraderie can leave retirees feeling isolated if they don’t have a robust social network outside of work and don’t have a plan for staying socially connected. If you live alone, dealing with loneliness is critical, as not doing so can lead to depression.

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3. Decreased sense of purpose

Work often does more than just pay the bills. It provides structure, routine, and a fulfilling sense of productivity and achievement

So when retirement rolls around, it can leave a void. Retirement can be a drastic shift. After years of having a structured routine, clear goals, and a community tied to work, suddenly that structure is gone. It’s not uncommon to feel a little adrift. Many retirees grapple with finding meaningful ways to occupy their time, which can lead to feelings of restlessness and a sense of lost purpose.  

4. Health concerns

The transition to retirement can also mean saying goodbye to the physical activity and mental stimulation that came with work. You’re no longer scurrying around your home trying to gather things for work, traipsing across the parking lot, taking stairs, or meandering to a coworker’s desk.

Swapping action for inactivity is like trading our physical well-being and mental well-being for a heaping helping of ennui. Ennui is a feeling of boredom, dissatisfaction, or aimlessness. You’re not ill. But you’re not well, either.

Sedentary habits combined with limited social engagement sometimes leave you feeling alone. That loneliness can lead to health issues such as weight gain, depression, and cognitive decline. 

5. Identity crisis

Retirement can sometimes feel as if you’re shedding old skin. You’re not spending time in the same ways you did while working, and you may even see yourself differently in relation to the world. When you have a clear understanding of your identity, it’s simpler to pinpoint those communities and spaces where you naturally fit in, and where you feel a sense of belonging.

Now, it’s time to find yourself again. The identity crisis caused by the transition often leaves retirees with self-doubt or a dip in self-esteem as they figure out who they are outside their professional personas.

Since 27% of American adults are retired as of 2022, a well-rounded retirement plan shouldn’t be an afterthought. This plan should cover financial, social, emotional, and health-related aspects to ensure a fulfilling retirement. And keep in mind that you’re not alone. There’s a whole community navigating these same waters.

What are the 5 stages of retirement?

The stages of retirement almost seem to mirror the Kubler-Ross stages of grief. And in some ways, retirement is a similar psychological transition. One phase of your life is ending, and your relationship with work is changing. There’s no “work” you and “home” you. There’s just you. Now, you have to redefine yourself — and it can feel as if a big piece of who you were is missing.

Gerontologist and author Ken Dychtwald has identified a series of five psychological stages that all retirees go through. Understanding the five phases of retirement, as well as where you fall in the process, can help you prepare for the retirement you dreamed of.

1. Imagination

Starting as early as 15 years before retirement, this is the “dream” phase. It’s close enough to be a reality but far enough away to fantasize about. With the first half (or more) of your career behind you, you have a sense of who you’ll be when you retire. You know what kind of impact you want to make on your field. The road ahead seems clear.

But who do you want to be after you retire? If you’re unsure, you might find a core self-evaluation helpful. You can check in with yourself to explore your perceived skills, your self-worth, and your hopes for the future to help create a vision for life after work.

2. Anticipation

Around five years before you retire, reality sets in. Your colleagues, coworkers, and friends are retiring. You keep realizing with a jolt that “it’s just around the corner.” You may turn a critical eye to your finances or review the specifics of your retirement plan.

At this point, many people are still daydreaming about all the freedom they’ll have. Most give far more thought to their finances at this stage than what they’ll actually do with their time. 

3. Liberation

Congratulations — you’re officially retired! You’ve popped the champagne, filed the paperwork, and you’re sporting that gold watch. Now what?

Believe it or not, even though “someday” is now officially here, most retirees still aren’t thinking about how they’ll fill their time. There’s a sense of relief and excitement, and in fact it may seem as if there are too many options for what to do next.

And while there’s nothing wrong with that, retirement is more a start to the next phase of life than an end to the old one. Think back to when you graduated from high school. Sure, one door was closing. But what made life exciting was looking forward to what was going to happen next and who you would become. And as many an aimless high school graduate will tell you, leaving with no clear plan can be a recipe for depression.

In his book “What Retirees Want,” Dychtwald says that if you ask retirees what they miss the most about work, they’ll say it’s the social connection, the stimulation, and the action. People who are happy to be free of their corporate schedules can use that momentum to jump-start the next phase of their lives.

4. Reorientation

Retirement can last a long time. Depending on when you retire, you may even find that you’re retired longer than you ever worked.

In reorientation, people begin to get used to retirement in all the best ways. It becomes the new normal. While that does mean that the honeymoon phase is over, it opens new ways of looking at retirement.

In many ways, this is its own end to the chapter. If retiring is your high school graduation, then reorientation is like finishing college. You have the perspective of the last few years coupled with the wisdom and experience of a lifetime. If you ever wished that you “knew then what you know now,” here’s your chance.

5. Reconciliation

Several years into retirement, you’ve created a new rhythm for yourself. You have a sense of purpose and fill your days with activities that you enjoy. This time of retirement is hopefully the longest and most fulfilling. There’s stability and freedom to this phase of your retirement years.

What will you do with this life after retirement? After all, it may end up being longer than your career. That’s a lot of time to fill. Here are some ideas on how to boost mental fitness well into your golden years.

What to do in retirement: 6 ways to achieve fulfillment after work

Stepping away from your structured daily routine? Finding fulfillment post-retirement is your secret weapon against loneliness, boredom, and the blues. It’s about finding and maintaining meaning in life.

Plus, joy in retirement isn’t just a mood booster. It has health benefits, too. From relieving stress to strengthening social connections, the benefits are plenty. The following are ways to find that fulfillment and boost your happiness once you’ve said farewell to your day job.

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1. Find your new purpose

Retirement is your chance to hit refresh on how you spend your time. Living a life of purpose lets you maintain a sense of meaning, fulfillment, and motivation. 

Purpose contributes to your overall happiness, well-being, and vitality in retirement. To pinpoint what this means for you, grab a journal and jot down thoughts on these topics:

  • What would you like more (or less) of? 
  • How would you spend your perfect day?
  • What experiences do you find satisfying? 
  • What new hobby would you like to pick up?
  • What about the world makes you angry or sad, and how could you use your newfound free time to help?

Doing good and giving back through volunteering is a worthwhile avenue to explore. Not only can it connect you with like-minded people, but it also allows you to contribute meaningfully to a cause that aligns with your values. You can find many volunteer opportunities online or with a bit of help from your friendly local librarian.

Retirement is also the perfect time to tick those exciting adventures you’ve always dreamed about off your bucket list. Wine tasting in Sonoma? Why not! Bird-watching in the Amazon? Go for it. It’s your time to redefine purpose and live out those once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

2. Create a routine

But it’s not going to be one exciting excursion after another. You’ll also need to restructure your day-to-day life. Quitting work cold turkey can feel jarring. That’s likely why many American pre-retirees want a more gradual shift out of the workforce. Like easing your way into a cold swimming pool, this slow shift gives you a feel for post-work life.

As you settle into your newfound freedom, don’t underestimate the power of a daily schedule. It gives your day structure, keeps you productive, and boosts mental fitness. Without a routine, you might feel aimless and isolated and even see a dip in your general health. 

Once you have a clear picture of where you are and where you want to be, you can make small and healthy lifestyle changes. Then, craft a routine that guides you toward your new goals. Maybe you enjoy sharing your love of local history. Why not volunteer as a tour guide at a nonprofit museum every Thursday morning? Remember, your routine is just a tool to help you live your retirement the way you want to.

3. Build a community

A smooth transition into retirement hinges on keeping social connections strong. But it’s no secret that loneliness has increased, and friendships have been on the decline in America.

You wouldn’t know it based on the decline, but friendships are important in life. Despite its demands, work may have served as your go-to for new friendships. To set your future self up for success, start nurturing social bonds outside of work in the months and weeks before you retire. 

After all, building a community is a universal need. It provides support, wards off loneliness, and fosters meaningful relationships that improve your quality of life. Sure, cultivating friendships beyond the workplace takes some effort, especially if you’re feeling shy, but there are ways to make it fun. Here are a few tips for where to find and make friends to get you started:

  • Sign up for a class
  • Pick up a new hobby like scrapbooking
  • Ask friends to introduce you to someone new
  • Work part-time to meet others and make retirement income

Just as nurturing friendships boosts your well-being, maintaining physical health is another nonnegotiable in retirement. As you plot out your social calendar, pencil in group physical fitness experiences to get regular exercise. 

4. Prioritize exercise

Around 85% of retirees live with at least one chronic condition, be it type 2 diabetes, heart disease, osteoarthritis, obesity, or cancer. The good news? Physical exercise has benefits that can help manage these conditions and even slow their progression so you can age well.

So why not try an exercise class, play pickleball, or join a water aerobics group? If in-person exercise isn’t an option, you can still enjoy a pleasant walk around your neighborhood or an online tai chi class. 

Since regular physical activity keeps your body and mind in shape, even light movement does wonders. You are prioritizing exercise to maintain physical health, mobility, and overall well-being. The benefits of exercise on your mental health and physical health will help you enjoy an active and independent lifestyle in retirement. The goal is simple: keep your body in motion.

5. Stay mentally active

As we age, our brains change. Brain shrinking, fewer neurons firing, and inflammation are all related to slower learning and cognitive performance. Yet, retirees who focus on physical and mental agility and practice healthy habits have a 60% lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s.

That’s why it’s important to be mentally fit. Mental fitness can be defined as having and maintaining a state of well-being and cultivating awareness of how we think, behave, and feel.  

Finding and dabbling in creative hobbies is fun and beneficial to maintain brain fitness in retirement. Consider exploring some of these options:

  • Writing
  • Pottery
  • Painting
  • Woodworking
  • Playing a musical instrument
  • Whipping up some culinary delights

If you’re up for a new challenge, consider learning a new language on Duolingo or digging into your family history. You could also join a book club for a blend of mental stimulation and social interaction.

Consider attending lectures, solving puzzles, immersing yourself in nature or gardening, or learning more about a topic you’ve always been curious about. The possible things to do with your free time are endless, and the key is to keep your brain buzzing with activity.

6. Focus on others

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Fostering social connections, contributing to your community, and finding fulfillment and purpose in your post-work life often come from putting others first. Joining group activities, like hiking groups, book clubs, or volunteer work, helps you connect with your community. The connections you form give you (and others) a sense of belonging.

What about carving out time for your loved ones? If “Cat’s in the Cradle” plays on loop in your brain, maybe you’re lamenting the time you lost with your loved ones while working. If you have kids, maybe they’ve flown the coop. Now you have empty nest syndrome. Is it time for a trip to see them?

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to spend more time with your grandkids. If so, now’s your chance. Plan regular outings, meals, or activities to nurture relationships with friends and family. 

What about those old friends you’ve lost touch with over the years? Retirement is a great time to reach out and rekindle those relationships. After all, retirement isn’t only about leaving work behind. It’s about embracing a new community and building strong relationships.

Retirement ennui: preventing listlessness during retirement

After you retire, the lack of structure, social interaction, and a sense of purpose that work provides can vanish. Without those, retirement ennui can settle in. When you feel ennui for an extended period, it progresses to feelings of loneliness, unfulfillment, and even depression. 

Retirement can often feel overwhelming. After all, 1 in 3 seniors experiences loneliness. Plus, the intense emotions tied to major life changes, like retirement, can stick around for six to nine months. It’s no surprise the transition can be a lot to handle.

Major changes like retirement often come with a mixed bag of emotions, from loss to fear. But remember, you can manage these feelings by building skills and gaining perspective over time. Aim for a mix of intellectual, social, and physical activities that bring you joy, purpose, and meaning to beat the retirement blues.

While it might feel like starting over, think of retirement as a door to a world of fresh opportunities. You simply need to keep a growth mindset.

How a coach can help you thrive in retirement

Since retirement is a seismic life shift, you may feel lost as you transition from the familiar to the unknown. Maybe connecting with a guide for your golden years is just what you need.

A life coach can help you reframe retirement as a new beginning. Here are a few benefits you might experience from regular coaching sessions:

  • Structure and accountability to help ward off feelings of aimlessness
  • Guidance in finding activities based on your interests, values, and priorities
  • Help overcoming obstacles like loss of identity, fear of change, and transition difficulties
  • A sounding board that encourages your personal growth
  • Lessons in goal-setting, self-reflection, decision-making, and change management

Using a combination of self-assessments and behavior change strategies, BetterUp coaches guide retirees in reshaping their post-career identities. With their objective perspectives, they can help you see your strengths, goals, and potential paths forward in a new light. 

Build resilience for life's challenges

Develop the skills you need to tackle life's ups and downs with confidence. A BetterUp Coach can help you build resilience, set goals, and navigate change.

Build resilience for life's challenges

Develop the skills you need to tackle life's ups and downs with confidence. A BetterUp Coach can help you build resilience, set goals, and navigate change.

Published March 19, 2024

Allaya Cooks-Campbell

With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

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